Good-bye guys (Leaving Creuddyn)

Right, how do I do this without getting upset...Well listening to Angie- Rolling Stones isnt a good start is it?

Anyway, so on Friday I will be going through the last REAL day of school (not including R.O.A. and the exams) which orginally excited me because I hate a lot of my year. But then rather then looking at the negative I looked at the positive and thought of all the cool folk who I wont see (too much to list and plus if I forget someone I'll feel evil) and it really got me, "Oh shit, this is it." All these friends I spent so long getting who I genuinly like although I say I dont. So this is going to be a huge blog.

In year seven I was nervous...Very nervous, in my primary school I was king, I was worshipped because of my badass-ness and the fact that I didnt take shit from anyone, it condemmed in year 7 and in secondary school in general. I arrived with three friends: Curtis, Uly, Tomos who were in my primary and are honestly my best friends. I made a mission for me to be the kind again, in doing this I became a swag-fag (before the term showed up) I pretended to love pop and hip hop, I dressed like a twat and I would make a fool out of myself. This didnt work, everyone hated me and I got bullied (boo-hoo I know, I'm not complaining everyone got bullied.) So I thought being the dumb 11 year old I was that the best thing to do was to ditch my friends and find some new ones. I screwed my friends over like royal and caught two more, Let's call em': Pack and Ponathan. There liked me cause I did the stupud stuff they were afraid to do. These guys were my bullies mind you, and through them I became a bully aswell. I bullied my friends from primary, I regret this choice to this day.
Anyway, In my form class I had Pack as a friend who didnt even sit on my table, on my table was Parlie Parmichael, Pesse and Piam. Piam was a prick, was? Sorry is a prick. He was one of the worst bullies, Pesse was his accomplice, he was like Wormtounge in LOTR. And although they abused me, I wanted to be their friend. Pathetic right? Actually no, I was eleven, cut me some slack.
So through litrally pestering I became friends with Ponathan, Pack, Pesse and Piam and through no fault of my own I became friends with Pen. Pesse's friend.
They liked me because I was a joke.

In year 8 I earned the respect of my class-mates and I had my friend crowd (who I would cheat with reguarly with the "nerds" who I was ashamed of at the time) But like I said they liked me because I was the guy who they could persuade to do stuff that would get me in trouble. Girls still cringed at the thought of me of course. Anyway, half way through the year I pissed in a bottle, and simply because Pack asked me to I poured it on Pen's head (which I later learned was infact just) but anyway, I got suspended and I had never felt so low, my mother was so ashamed and then I was ashamed, so much. However after a deep chat with my father I was reborn. I didnt do things that were stupid because I was afraid of losing friends (F.Y.I. Piam had left our friends group for the footballers) So my friends became less and less intrested. And I had lost Ulysses because I was a prick in year 7 and most of primary, Curtis had started hanging out with his church friends and Tom...Well thinking about it Tom was always there for me, I lost the respect of my year because of the suspention. I was alone. I was utterly alone. Althought I hadnt felt lonliness like I did un year 9...But we'll get to that later. Anyway at the end of year 8 I found out that I was going to a totally diffrent form class which was sort of a hybrid class with people from all over in it. I was eleven again. Nervous.

Here comes year 9. When I went into year 9 The only friend in my class I had was Pen, the others were as good as strangers. So the first few months were spent with me sort of clutching on Pen; afraid of mainly attractive girls. And then it happend, I would never be the same again. I saw Louise, who was (and still is mind you) increadably beautiful and I went head over heels straight away, I had fancied girls in the past but not like this. Anyway, after like six months of being a pussy I plucked up the courage to ask her out. And she said yes, I didnt believe it, I was so insecure and my self esteem was so low that I spent most of those two months being in total and utter paranoya that she would leave me. Which caused me to be the worst boyfriend ever. She dumped me. And boy was a crushed. She was the first (and so far, only) girl I had ever loved, and I would of done anything for her and no matter how much I begged a pleaded to get back with her, she wouldent (of course not, I was a shite boyfriend) this lead me to go into what I think now was probaly depression which made me get very, very, very mean, I worst I've ever mean. I cant believe half of the shady things I did and when I came to my senses I couldent believe what I did. I didnt speak to her for months after that, possibly half a year. And it crushed me because, even to this day she knows me more than anyone else does. At this point be and Ulysses still werent totally friends, we were just neutral. I started to get sick of my friends group and all of Louise's friends (which was the whole year) hated my guts. I was at the peek of my lonliness. Although I never continplated suicide or self harmed!

In year 10 I decided to patch shit up with Louise, and we did. And now she is probaly one of my best friends and she will always be my first love and she will always be in my heart, and I guess in one way I'll always love her. Damn emotions. Anyway in year 10 I became friends with Ulysses again and I made some really new friends who turned out to be boss. And I became who I am today.

Now year 11 was full of mostly good shit. I am friends with people who I like, people who hate me I hate back. And only recently I have grown a bitter hatred for my old friends crowd. Who I now avoid at all costs, I have a very peacefull and nice relationship with my ex girlfriend. I have the best friends a cynical prick could ask for and I know I wont lose them. So when I really think about it, I'm back where I started. The same nerd crowd that I love, no girlfriend, a geek myself and into some good old rock n' roll. All thats diffrent is life experiance that I wont regret getting. So I am pleased with myself and what I did, even the shit stuff, because without that I wouldent be what I am today...A badass mother fucker. Girlfriends? Not currently, although the goggles are on and locked on but thats all I'll say: To quote Frank Turner "Everybody around here has been out with everybody else, so talking to girls is hazzerdous to my health"

The only thing that sucks is that I dont have an extra six months of year eleven to hang out with the badass mother fuckers I have become friends with. And possibly give a girl the gift of the best boyfriend ever? Ah well, such is life.

The future? Isnt for me to decide I would just like to thank these people:

Curtis: For being my brother through out all of primary and secondary. We'll be friends forever brah, no doubt, your still going to live with me and Jennifer Connelly when we get married dude!

Ulysses: For letting me rant and just for being the Moss to my Roy, The Mitchell to my Webb...The....Um...Tom to my Jerry, for being the Wing-man (although you fuck up royal) and for being as loud and obnoxious as me...Oh and for being Mega-Dega.

Tomos: You sir, where do I begin? Your my punching bag and my white knight. When I'm annoyed and I want someone to cheer me up, you're there with you unfunny puns. And the thing is...you've always been there, probaly because you didnt notice anything happend.

Beth: Dude, no one has listened to my bull-shit as much as you have and even when everyone turned againts me you listened to my story and you convinced me to so the right thing. You so totally rule.

Nerds of the hill: You guys frickin rock dont let anyone tell you diffrently!


So with that I say good-bye to you fellas. Oh and in my intro I said I'd have a sighn off thing, so um....See you in your dreams.