The team of: Super Giant, The Jester, STD man, Pun man and
Captain Mind-mash arrive at the conveniently named “generic Underground Layer
here in Mars”. To Their happiness O’Leary is found at the entrance. “Guys! Come
quick! They’re all dead!” Everyone
rushes including The Jester which is a surprise because he didn’t even ask
about the Ice Cream Sandwiches.
They enter and everyone is still alive, they are bound and
gagged but to the right of everyone is O’Leary trapped in an anti-super power
field. Everyone gets a look of confusion while the O’Leary that led them there
is laughing; he quickly morphs into Repressed Emotion “You idiots! O’Leary has
been here the whole time!” Repressed Emotion yells. “I even made up a lie about
the world history and you still fell for it!” O’Leary rolls his eyes.
“Well it doesn’t really matter seeing that we’re going to
kill you now you stupid son of a *censored by comic code*” The Jester says
pulling out his 45 magnum Desert Eagle, He takes a shot but Repressed Emotion
is wearing some sort of armour. “You fool! Bullets are superfluous to my
swallowed-sadness-armour!” Repressed Emotion laughs crawling over to his giant
computer, a force field surrounds the team and all of a sudden Repressed
Emotion shoots out a lightning bolt at Super Giant, Pun man, Captain Mind-mash,
STD man and The Jester “Hey! I can’t move!” STD man yells.
“Yes. This will prevent movement for about a minute and a
half!” Repressed Emotion says menacingly. “Why didn’t you just get one that will
stop us from moving forever?” Super
Giant asks.
“I couldn’t afford that spell” Repressed Emotion answers, he
presses a button on his dashboard, all of a sudden a force field surrounds
everyone. “This is an anti-super power field!” Repressed Emotion says being all
super evil and stuff. “Tatty bye!” He says leaving the room. All of a sudden a
gas fills the room. The intercoms goes on, it’s Repressed Emotion. “Oh my, what have we here? Oh yes, it’s pnexiouside
a poison that will kill you in twenty minutes! Again I couldn’t afford the
quick stuff...But when this comes into action. Your entrails will burn and your
organs will decay. Have fun” The Intercom turns off.
Everyone looks around. This is it. This is the end (well
obviously not but its fun to be intense which brings me to another point, why
in the Star Wars prequels did they bother making Obi Wan Kenobi have near-death
situations, we all know he won’t die. Use those scenes with people who we don’t
see in the originals! Anyway I’m getting off track). The Jester begins to panic
“Don’t just stand there O’Leary! If it wasn’t for you getting your ass
kidnapped this never would have happened!”
“Hold on I’m thinking” O’Leary responds “Yes...Yes I know
about pnexiouside, it is a very rare element that has one thing that can
counteract it.”
“For the love of god tell us!” STD man says.
“It’s quite vulgar” O’Leary says.
Captain Mind-mash gives him a look of “Are you kidding me”.
“Well it’s...It’s queef.”
Everyone looks at Mind-numbing Miriam. She spits out her
gag, “No way.” She says.
The spell wares off so The Jester goes around and un-ties
her. “Miriam please listen to reason!” O’Leary says. (I would make a reference
here but only Tom would get it.
“There is no way I am queefing!” Mind Numbing Miriam says,
desperate for the D.
“Miriam! I don’t want to die and I’m pretty sure you don’t want
to either. So for god sake! Grow some balls and queef!” Says The Jester.
“How can I queef if I had balls?” Mind-numbing Miriam says,
dry mouthed for the D.
“Just. Queef.” The Jester says, holding in his rage...And
his D.
Min-numbing Miriam looks around “Why can’t they do it?” She
says pointing at The Jesters sisters.
“They’re too young.” O’Leary adds.
Mind-numbing Miriam looks around. She has no choice other
than to queef. “Okay, two conditions!”
Everyone nods. “One, you must turn around. Two, you tell no
one!” Everyone agrees (although we all know The Jester will tell anyone he
meets.) And alas, she queefs, she queefs again, and again and again and again
until the whole room is full of the smell of...You guessed it queef. (Hi I’m 16
years old).
Everyone turns around and looks at Miriam with a look of
disgust. “You told me to do it!” Miriam says defensively, needing the D. O’Leary
grabs the intercom while the other guys untie the sisters.
“Hey we’re still
alive, thanks to the magic of knowledge.” The pounding sounds of footsteps are heard as
Repressed Emotion storms in. “You idiots! What have you done! Do you have any
idea how rare that was! You’re all dead!”
“How? You have a force field to prevent your actions?” Pun
Man asks.
Without thinking Repressed Emotion turns off the force
field.
“Wait, can I have one final word?” Pun Man requests.
“Very well” Repressed Emotions replies.
“Looks like you were FORCED into this situation!” Pun-Man
says pointing and clicking his fingers.
Repressed Emotion flies back like Pun-Man just used the
force.
“I guys you could says this isn’t SUPER!” He says again,
Repressed Emotion flies back again.
Super Giant grabs Repressed Emotion like an American football
“Blue thirty two, blue Thirty two, hut-hut!” He yells throwing Repressed
Emotion into his mother board thus shocking him and impaling him with shards of
glass and metal and plastic. He falls, Mind-numbing Miriam skips over to him “See
they made me queef and after I did they just treated me liken3rhghgoghohgo4gh4g”
She Mind-numbs. “Ah god! Make it stop!” Repressed Emotion yells, he attempts to
get up but O’Leary and Super Liz are holding him down with their minds. STD man
wanders over and touches Repressed Emotion’s arm, “Gonorrhoea.” He says.
Captain Mind Mash tip toes over with a note that has been in his pocket for
this whole time. He hands it too Repressed Emotion, he quickly reads. All of
sudden Repressed Emotion violently vomits blood all over himself for about five
minutes, when he is done Happy Hattie and MADdeline open up his protective
chest plate. The Jester aims his gun directly at the heart. “Stay repressed.”
The Jester says with a badass close up. He fires twenty shots into Repressed
Emotions heart.
Everyone dances with glee. “We did it!” The Jester yells in
happiness. “You saved me” Mind-numbing Miriam says cunningly. “I came for the
Ice Cream Sandwiches.” The Jester responds
“Oh yeah then why didn’t you save them?” the Ice Cream
Sandwiches have melted. “You untied me...But you let them melt!” The Jester is
at a loss for words but then “Ew! Get away from me you queefer.” Mind-numbing
Miriam just shakes her head and walks away to celebrate with the others.
But Repressed Emotion subtly grabs The Jesters gun and
shoots him in the leg. “Ah!” He falls in pain.
Repressed Emotion then morphs, he grows triple in size and
grows nine more extra limbs, he re-applies his armour. He voice booms all
monster like “Now, feel the wrath of Repressed Emotion!” A football suddenly
hits Repressed Emotions head; however this ball is made of metal and has
spikes. It sticks in his head “Who kicked that!” He screams in anger. It’s The Jester’s dad http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30tIIV2RoX0
He says being all badass. Miriam creams.
William jumps over to Repressed Emotion, Repressed Emotion
takes a swing at him but he ducks, he quickly whips out his dark purple
lightsaber and lobs off Repressed Emotions limbs. “Arrghh” He screams. William
puts away his lightsaber and spins out a beauty of a guitar. Cranium steel and
Copper boy appear out of nowhere and drool. William plays a moist riff http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQPY0Lt1bds
. STD man creams.
Repressed Emotion grabs a sharp piece of metal from his back
and stabs Williams through the gut with it. “No!” The Jester yells in horror.
Before William falls he rips off Repressed Emotions head and
throws it. Repressed Emotion dies and William falls. Captain Mind-mash jumps
Repressed Emotions body.
The Jester quickly runs up to him crying. He holds him in
his arms. “No William, please don’t die, please I only just got a dad please don’t
leave me” Everyone surrounds them and Super Giant places his hand on his
shoulder.
“Y-You were such a hero Jacob.” The Jester breaks down
crying “I-I am so proud of you, you did so well. I had no idea that you were so
powerful, I know you consider yourself evil, but your *coughs blood* tops in my
book. No matter what anyone says my boy” He holds The Jesters hand and looks
deeply into his eyes. “You’re a hero to me, I love you son.” William dies. The
Jester bows his head in sadness and cries. Everyone comforts The Jester.
After awhile the gates open and the team leave. “So, back to
my place for punch and pie?” Captain Mind-mash asks. “What about the Jester?” Pun-Man
whispers.
“I’ll be fine.” He comments, Super-Giant hits Pun-Man on the
back of the head. “I’m gonna catch the
next one.”
“Do you need company?” Mind-numbing Miriam asks.
“No.” The Jester responds walking away.
“I’ll never understand him” She comments.
Super Giant responds “I don’t think it’s a matter of
understanding, I think its more tolerance. Remember that The Jesters life is
more twisted and wrong as Captain mind-mash’s fantasies. It’s amazing he hasn’t
done himself in yet. In a lot of ways The Jester is an anti-hero or even worst;
a villain, but in more ways than not...He’s a hero. And a damn good one at that,
every now and again people need to just remember that The Jester isn’t really a
superhero, nor does he have awesome gadgets. He’s just had enough crappy stuff
happen to him that he wants to prevent anyone else from going through it, and
because of that. He’s more of a hero than we’ll ever be.”
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